Signed, Sealed, Electronically Delivered - LOLgislation #045

FL Senate 2010: SB 0860
By Senator Steve Oelrich (R, Alachua-Gilchrist)

It's true we don't do enough letter writing these days. I want to meet the man who still leaves a formally written, signed and sealed threat on the table when he leaves for work in the morning.

Just so you know, I'm gonna f***ing kill you when I get back. Don't think of going anywhere. I will find you. –Bob

A bill to be entitled                     

An act relating to threats; amending s. 836.10, F.S.; prohibiting the communication of a threat to unlawfully do physical harm to the person or property of another in the course of committing an act of domestic violence; providing criminal penalties; revising provisions relating to the sending of or procuring the sending of letters or inscribed communications containing certain threats of death or bodily injury; providing an effective date.
 
Be It Enacted by the Legislature of the State of Florida:
 
         Section 1. Section 836.10, Florida Statutes, is amended to read:
         836.10 Written Threats to kill or do bodily injury; punishment.—
         (1) Except as provided in subsection (2), any person who communicates or causes to be communicated orally, in writing, or through the use of electronic or other means a threat to unlawfully do physical harm to the person or property of another in the course of committing an act of domestic violence, as defined in s. 741.28, commits a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.
         (2) If Any person who writes or composes and also sends or procures the sending of any letter or inscribed communication in writing, or using electronic or other means, so written or composed, whether such letter or communication be signed or anonymous, to any person, containing a threat to kill or to unlawfully do bodily injury to the person to whom such letter or communication is sent, or a threat to kill or unlawfully do bodily injury to any member of the family of the person to whom such letter or communication is sent commits, the person so writing or composing and so sending or procuring the sending of such letter or communication, shall be guilty of a felony of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.
         Section 2. This act shall take effect October 1, 2010.

Welcome to the 21st century!

Several years ago a woman in my family became the "true love" of an older, married, retired cop. Because divorce proceedings were, of course, not forthcoming, she ended it. Ish.

He proceeded to do all the scary stalker things involving hidden cameras, stakeouts, tailings, shakedowns, etc. She changed her job and moved out of her house and started living in various motels to hide. Yet he stalked her.

Until one day he started leaving voicemails – in a creepy sing-song voice – that he was going to find her and kill her dead.

She sought a restraining order, but no! Voicemail is not "written or inscribed." Add a good character witness from the Force and you see this poor woman's dilemma.

Like the only people who get death threats are celebrities and politicians. Pff.