Foreign Friday - Indiana!

LOLgislation #F010
IN House 2010: HB 1345
Introduced By Reps. Borders, Clere, Messmer, Truitt
(Srsly. Just look at these guys)

A BILL FOR AN ACT to amend the Indiana Code concerning trade regulation.

Spray Tanning Facilities
(a) Spray tanning may not be applied to a minor unless the parent or guardian of the person has signed a written permission statement in the presence of the owner or operator of the spray tanning business.
(b) If spray tanning is applied to a minor who has exposed the:        
(1) male or female genitals;
(2) pubic area;
(3) buttocks; or
(4) female breast;
the minor must have a parent or guardian present at the spray tanning facility when the spray tanning is applied to the minor.
(c) If spray tanning is applied to a minor who has exposed the:
(1) male or female genitals;
(2) pubic area;
(3) buttocks; or
(4) female breast;
the owner or operator who is applying the spray tanning must be of the same gender as the minor who is being spray tanned.

Will the Gays be prohibited from obtaining salon licenses? Does the attending parent or guardian also have to be the same gender as the minor? And by gender don't they really mean sex?

By the time Miss Indiana won Miss America in 2009, (most assuredly for her passionate performance of the song Via Dolorosa, chronicling the Passion of Christ), her female genitals, pubic area, buttocks, and female breast had been sprayed tan for seven years.

"But Mom! I have competition! I need to go Today!"

"You have a car, just go. I have to drive out and make sure that arthritic hag gets your dress finished by five."

Do you think if Miss Katie Stam missed a crucial tan over a permission slip and chaperone anybody would know anything about Indiana? Other than what they learn from Parks and Recreation?